Cycles

One of my favorite books that I read every year, is “Makes Me Wanna Holler: A Young Black Man in America” by Nathan McCall. Crazy side note, my mentor is good friends with the author. My mentor recommended the book to my class during our senior year of high school. I didn’t read the book until 10 years later. One of the chapters in the book talks about cycles. McCall talks about his experiences growing up and how many others have similar experiences and backgrounds. Those same experiences were getting passed down to later generations. When I read that chapter, I look at my own life and the lives of my friends. Some systemic cycles have been initiated by upbringing, environment, and ultimately choices that have been continuing for decades. Single-parent households, children out of wedlock, black men incarcerated, the list of cycles goes on and on. I could discuss the plight of marginalized groups and patterns that take effect, but I decided against it. I wanted to pivot in this piece and speak on more positive cycles. Rarely do I see news stories about an entire family that will receive a higher education. Nor have I witnessed a family tree where there was a majority of successful marriages throughout the generations. Why don’t we see these things more? I believe they are happening more than we think, but it's not being talked about as loudly as the negative cycles. I currently am witnessing the fruit of a positive cycle right now in my own home. My wife is the hardest-working woman I know. She left a good-paying corporate job to go into business herself doing design business. She expanded her business to include murals and fine art. Later on, she shifted the focus of the business to murals solely, launched a nonprofit, and became a highly sought-after speaker. None of this would be possible without her father. My father-in-law is a serial entrepreneur who is consistently searching for new opportunities. He has faced many adversities in business, including failure, dishonesty among business partners, and a lack of quality employees. Yet still, his entrepreneurial spirit has never wavered and his resilience is one to be marveled at. He has achieved successes and financial breakthroughs that I have witnessed firsthand. My father-in-law gained his business expertise and drive from his paternal grandfather. His grandfather raised him for some time and employed him at his beauty supply store. My father-in-law learned about work ethic, overcoming challenges, and the generational entrepreneurial spirit. That spirit has been passed down to my wife. This cycle started with some positive and intentional choices. My wife’s great-grandfather chose to bring his grandson to his home and his place of work. My wife’s father chose to be a resilient entrepreneur who provides advice and opportunities to his children. Positive cycles are initiated by intentional positive choices. When we are making a choice, we must remember that the ramifications of that choice affect other people. My choice to be a present husband and father is made not just for my household but for the future households to come. It's paramount for everyone to examine their lives and the lives of their families and friends. What cycles are we creating? Are they life-giving cycles creating memories of hope, success, and love? Or are we creating the negative cycles that grab the headlines? More statistics to prove the data and the facts that we have known for so long. Change the narratives. Change the choices. Change the cycles.  Let us make choices to create better cycles for the sake of future generations.