Haters in the Backseat

I would like to share another frequent saying in my everyday speech, “Haters in the backseat”. The term hater was popularized in the late 1990s by hip-hop icons such as the Notorious Biggie Smalls and Tupac Shakur. I'm pretty sure some rendition of the phrase was used in a song. It always stuck with me because it is a pretty catchy saying. But when you look closer at the saying, you find a profound lesson. Let's begin by getting the operational definition of the word hater. In short, a hater is a person who strongly dislikes and/or expresses continued negative criticism of another person or idea. Now, let's address the rest of the phrase, “in the backseat”. Imagine your life is a car journey and you are in it. You are either a driver or a passenger in this life car journey. There are also other passengers in the vehicle with you. The other passengers are people in your life; some go, some stay, some switch cars. Now in life, you will experience other people who don’t have the best intentions for you. Some people dislike you and don’t want you to succeed at achieving success. Other people are critical of you and are completely unaware of it. They don’t even realize they are haters. We all have experienced haters in our personal lives. Haters can become passengers on your life car ride. Now some people may ask, “Why are they in the car? Kick the haters out!” It's not always that easy. There will be times they have to be in the car with you. The hater could be a relative, coworker, or classmate. Let's dig deeper into those examples I just listed. I’m talking about the sibling that stays in the room next to yours. The sibling talks trash about how you look and says you have a boring personality. I’m talking about the coworker who is on your team for daily collaborations. The coworker that shoots down all your ideas and gossips about you to others behind your back. I’m talking about the classmate that sits at your table and you guys share the same friends. The classmate that roasts you and talks over you during group discussions. Here is a hard truth: You will not be able to get rid of all the haters in your life. You may be able to control your time around them, but sometimes it may be out of your control. These haters are in your life journey car for a season and it could very well be a long one. But you can dictate where they sit by how much attention you give their words and actions. If you allow words and actions to dictate how you drive the car, they are actively influencing your direction in life and ultimately your destination. And it would be even worse if you handed the keys over to someone else to drive your life car and make you a passenger. It happens more than we realize to people every day. A person can make life decisions solely based on someone else’s directions and those directions could be life-destroying. Don’t let haters sit in the front seat. Put them in the backseat if they are a part of your life journey. Maybe you have a three-row car and can put them far in the back. Individuals who hold you accountable, love you, and give sound advice should be sitting closer to you. Rearrange the seating chart in your life. Place a supportive person in the front passenger seat, and if they have good taste in music, pass them the aux.