More Values, Less Rules

Brace yourself because the next statement will be radical. We need more values and fewer rules. Now, before anyone comes at me with anarchist rhetoric, let's unpack that statement. People put value on certain things, and they have many reasons to do it. Why does someone value education? Perhaps they believe that knowledge is power and a key to success. Why does someone value health? Maybe because they want to live a decent and happy life. Now, as far as rules go, why do we have them? Well, rules are important as well because they can form healthy boundaries, provide safety, and keep a standard of civility and order. But when a community becomes more rule-driven than value-driven, it becomes less about boundaries, safety, and standards. It becomes a community abusing power and exercising unfair control. In my house, on the teams I’ve coached, and in other organizations I have led, I have placed a set of values in front of the rules. Those values are always the same. Love, Respect, and Excellence are those values. We love God, ourselves, and others. We show respect to ourselves and others in our actions and words. We strive for excellence in everything at every time. These values help us stay on course in our life journey. When we need to consider an action or something to say, we can fall back to see if our choices and words line up with our values. For example, I can emphasize the rule “No lying” in the house and hand out consequences if that rule is violated. Or I can emphasize the value of respect. When my sons learn the importance of self-respect and respecting others, honesty becomes a viable choice. It doesn’t make it an easier choice, but the processing changes. The children can either know a rule not to break, or they can begin to understand that respect is worthwhile, and they want to be able to have that respect of being trusted.They begin to value honesty. The pandemic taught me a few good lessons about rules and values. When COVID-19 forced schools and colleges to close their doors, people (especially students) began to look at education differently. When various students were interviewed during the pandemic, many of them stated that school felt optional, and they didn’t feel obligated. Going to school was once a long-standing obligation. You had to go! Truancy was a serious matter in many states, punishable with fines or jail time. But COVID-19 occurred. Many things changed, tests were waived, college requirements were dismissed, and the dreaded SAT/ACT was canceled. The standard rules and norms set in place were overhauled. Now, given it was unprecedented times, and that caused unprecedented measures, we had to take a hard look at some of the rules that were set in place. Were any of those age-old rules and obligatory norms that dictated how education should go, helping or controlling? If we as a community place a higher value on education and other things, this would help students in their choices on life’s journey. Maybe people would be able to find their center, their moral compass, on this walk. Maybe I’m being too naive, and I trust people too much. I can hear it being said now, “We need rules to keep the law, decency, and order”. Having values doesn’t mean we eradicate all rules. We need to examine these rules and see if they are tied to something greater than power and controlling people. There would be more decency and order if the people truly saw value in life itself. I see the value in safe urban cities. I see the value in education. I see the value in working hard. I see the value in another person’s life. They all either have a high level of worth or they are priceless.